A Day In The Life
I HEARD THE NEWS TODAY, OH BOY....
If you're keeping up with my daily trials and tribulations ( and you should be), you may know that I'm in the market for a new neurologist. My old one had a little stroke. My primary physician's office recommended I go to Stroger Hospital and their clinic. So I gathered up my records and headed off to the westside of Chicago.
Now before we get to yesterday's events, let's take a look at the procedures. This is a first come, first served clinic. The clinic opens at 8 am. People start lining up before 6 am. Numbers get passed out at 7 am. When the doors open they start calling out numbers. First stop is registration. They just take your basic information. Next you see a nurse who asks why you're there and takes your vitals. Final stop is seeing a doctor. There is a lot of waiting between each stop.
So let's see how I navigated the system:
a.) For me to get there at 6, I need to be awake at 4:30. Not gonna happen. I woke up at 7:30 and decided today was the day ( I had been procrastinating on doing this for a couple of weeks). One train and one bus ride later, it's 8:30 and I arrive. I speak with the information lady who gives me a number. That number is 106. They were calling number 35. First sign that it will be a long day. The numbers move quickly. It's less than an hour later when I hear number 106.The number woman takes my basic info, makes a few copies and sends me off to the nursing station. So far so good...but don't be fooled!!
b.) The nurses are on the other side of the room. You wait until you hear your name called. This means no Ipod with earbuds. Good thing I brought a book about the DiMaggio brothers. Reading commences. There was also a television. I'm now familiar with the new Let's Make a Deal and Wayne Brady. Wayne was great on that improv show but here he's no Monte Hall...but who is? About an hour later I hear my name. The nurse wants to know why I'm here. I explain, she makes notes. Check of blood pressure and temperature and that's all for the nursing station. Pretty painless. It's now about 11:00 am and I ask what's the time frame to see the doctor. She says after noon and I'm fine with that. Back to Joe, Dom & Vince plus the local news.
c.) Time to see the doctor. The nurse said after 12 but what she didn't say was the doctors take lunch between 12 and 1. OY!! So I grab a bag of pretzels and wait. Hey...that's The Young & Restless on tv. Sad news about Jeanne Cooper, but I digress. It's 1:30 pm and I hear my name. I get to meet young Dr. Wong. I give her some of my records plus the nurse's report. She spends five minutes typing info into her computer. She types fast enough to be part of the secretarial pool on Mad Men. Hell...I wish she was typing this!! Next I'm on the exam table and here comes the poking and prodding. Next are some balance and walking tests. She's off to confab with her attending physician. When she comes back her question is " Have you been tested for Syphilis"? OY FUCKING OY!!! I really didn't want to engage her in a discussion about my lack of a sex life, so I said she had all my tests records and really I just needed a referral. She shakes her head and says wait outside.
d.) About ten minutes later, she comes back with the referral paper. YAHTZEE!!! Well, maybe not. She explains that they will call me with an appointment date. There is also a number to call if I haven't heard anything in two weeks. I asked about a time frame for this. She said be patient. The waiting list could be up to six months. MORE OYS!!!
The time leaving the clinic is 3;30 pm. Seven hours there plus two more commuting. Ahhh....that's my day. Say a prayer for the quick recovery of my original neurologist.