A Minor Surgery Is When It Happens To Someone Else
A few years ago a friend called me to tell me he had a minor heart attack. I told him a minor heart attack is when it happens to someone else. That's how I feel about surgeries. Nothing is minor!
Do you remember last year when Joan Rivers went in for a minor procedure? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tell you it was minor...because it killed her.
An acquaintance recently spent two months in the hopsital after a "minor" surgery went bad.
TWO MONTHS!
When humans are involved nothing is a certainty. Even the smallest thing can lead to a possible disaster.
So what's with all this bad news medical rap. If you've read this blog lately, you know I've been writing about Melanoma. Today's the day it comes out of my body.
I wish there was a way kittens could lick my back to get rid of the Melanoma but we aren't that medically advanced...yet. "Minor" surgery it is!
Now Mr. Doctor man, I do have a few questions about this for you... a. If it's minor, why will it take two hours? b. If it's minor, why not a local anesthetic? c. If it's minor, why did a nurse call and ask me 45 minutes worth of questions? BTW...she called me a goodie-goodie after I told her I don't drink or do Cocaine. We may have to do something about that if I survive.
Plus, this is my first surgical procedure. I know it's minor but I am a little nervous. And how do I prepare for this...I watched a few episodes of "Botched."
Yeah....it's that show about plastic surgeries that went bad. I gotta tell you that Janice Dickerson is a fucking nut job....but so is a guy watching this the day before his first time under the knife.
I'm sure you realize that I'm being facetious with this doom and gloom. Chances are more than pretty good that by this afternoon I'll be home, drugged up and Cancer-free.
But you never can be 100% certain and just in case things go really, really bad, I'll say hello to Joan from all of you.
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