Cancer Free and Pissed About It
Usually on weekends I try to write something that isn't health related. I even had a couple of pieces ready to go. And then came Friday.
Now when a doctor tells you that you're fine, you should be really happy. Believe me, I am. It's the process that pisses me off.
Two weeks ago when I first met my Pulmonary Doctor, it took him less than five minutes to say the magic words Lung Cancer. Ten minutes later his partner did the same thing.
I have a big problem with anyone tossing out words like that so early in the process. If the goal is to scare the shit out of you, then it certainly worked.
For the last two weeks, I've been running around like a chicken with his head cut off (whatever the fuck that means).
I had to set up tests that I really didn't need. It included the fifth x-ray of my lung in the last year and a half. A radiology department knowing you by sight is not a good thing.
The worst part is informing the people close to you that you may have Cancer. The phone calls and emails wear you out. Then you have to do it again when you get the results. It's emotionally draining. I had to double my doses of Valium...ok, that wasn't so bad.
I still don't get why they have to bring up Cancer so early. They could have waited to see the test results. If they came back positive, then let the Cancer talk begin. A first visit with talk about about surgery, chemo and radiation seems way out of line.
Maybe I'm wrong but it feels like a cover your ass strategy at the expense of the patient. It certainly rubbed me the wrong way.
Now for the important stuff. I realize how lucky I am that everything came back negative. I know plenty of people who haven't been as lucky. I know my last two weeks have been nothing compared to their battles and losses. And if the title offends anyone, I'm sorry about that, too.
Thank you to anyone who said a prayer, wished me well, gave me a needed hug or just listened. I appreciate it more than you know.
I actually have one more meeting with this doctor. It's on December 20th. I think I'll bring him this piece as a Christmas present.