Do you Google your real or imagined medical symptoms?
It was about thirty years ago. I was visiting my mother and needed to use her bathroom. What flowed out of me was blood. Not a trace of blood, the pure red stuff. I remember thinking two things: the calm part of me said to myself, "that's unusual." The irrational, neurotic part screamed, "What the fuck is this? I'm dying!"
Two hours later, when I needed to pee again, it was perfectly clear. So I did what every rational person...or every guy would do. I ignored the bloody one and went on with my life. I figured it was a one-off. I never told anyone about this. Not my mom, my then wife or my doctor.
A couple of days later, I had some intense back pains. Massive spasms that wouldn't stop. I just loaded up on Advil and a couple of hours later the pain cleared up. But, they came back about a week later...and then the following week. I figured it was time to go to the doctor. Her first question was, "Have you had any blood in your urine?" Being a guy, I told her no. Actually, the real reason was between the blood, the back pain and some weight loss, I KNEW I had some form of cancer and was dying...and fast. I was scared and felt better not knowing. She gave me some meds, but they didn't work very well.
After a few more weeks of this, I figured I needed to do something. It was the pre-internet days, so I went to a bookstore. I hit the medical section and found a book on symptoms. Believe it or not, blood in urine had its own section of the book...a large one. A little more detective work led me my disease....kidney stones.
No cancer. No dying. Just a little rock stuck in my kidney. Phew!
I ran off to my doctor. First she yelled at me for lying to her about the blood. Then she yelled a little louder for me thinking I had any kind of medical training. And then she confirmed my expert medical diagnosis. She gave me something stronger for the pain and also something that would help the stone pass easier, which it did about a week later. She finally said to stop doing medical research. If I have a problem, just come to her.
It was good advice. However, since I'm a guy, I didn't listen. It's three decades later and I'm still researching medical symptoms. But, now it's easier. You don't have to go to a bookstore. You don't have to leave your home. You don't even need to get dressed. Just reach for your phone, find Google, plug in whatever you think is ailing you and VOILA!!! You'll have an answer in a few seconds. In most cases, more than one answer.You'll probably find thousands of hits from which to choose. Lucky you!
I can't count the number of times I've used this tool. Sometimes it works. Five years ago, I Googled moles and found one that looked exactly like one on my back. I knew I had Melanoma immediately and way before the official diagnosis. However, most of the time, it's more scary than helpful, especially if you're neurotic about health issues. Last year, I had some muscle cramps in both my legs. Off to Google. There were two choices. Dehydration or advanced cardiovascular disease. Guess which one I picked.
When I went to my doctor to tell him I was dying from heart disease, he told me to drink more water. Yeah, but at least I'm following up with my doctor. Small steps after thirty years.
But for every small step ahead, it's two steps back. That's what it's like in the neurotic health/Google world.
Over the weekend, I noticed numbness in the base of my left thumb. Interesting. A little later, the tip of my thumb was becoming painful. I couldn't imagine why. When the pain worsened, it was time to go to my old friend....GOOGLE! Plug in hand pain plus numbness and it gave me two choices...MS and carpal tunnel. But then, both the pain and the numbness went away. Cool. I don't have to do anything. It's another one-off event. It's like old times again. The more things change.....
Related Post: "Should I be concerned about Melanoma?"
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