Do you need to tell your children about all your health issues?
Last week I was out with the fam at a restaurant to celebrate my birthday. At the end of the meal, I brought out a birthday cake, which led to this short conversation with my youngest daughter:
H: I really shouldn't be eating this but it's my birthday. K: Why can't you eat cake? H: Because with diabetes you shouldn't eat this stuff. K: You have diabetes? Since when? And you didn't tell us?
No honey, I didn't tell you. Why? Because I didn't think it was necessary. Plus, I did mention it here about a month ago as part of a different story; so if you EVER read any of my work you would have known—but that's a different, more than a decade-long topic.
But, back to the question in the title—are your children really entitled to know everything? My answer is—I’m not sure.
When I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2012, I called them both to let them know. Because it’s not the most common disease, I thought it was important to give them some details about what to expect.
Three years later, I was diagnosed with Melanoma. Again I called to inform them. Because it was an early stage it wasn't life-threatening, but it was still a form of cancer so I felt it was important to tell them.
This one seemed different. I didn’t think it was a life-threatening thing. Yes, of course, I know it has been for so many people. It took my father’s life at age fifty-seven—well that and the five packs of cigarettes he smoked each day—you decide which one killed him. But in my case, the meds and a couple of life changes have brought my numbers down to close to a normal number. Hence, no need to make a big deal about it. Hence, no need to tell my children—at least that’s what I thought.
Now to be honest, I did ask some people if it was necessary to inform the girls. I got some mixed messages. One person said they should be informed of everything. Another one, who had a much more serious illness, said he didn’t inform his children until the disease was under control. But his children were actually children at the time, while mine are now adults.
After thinking about this for a bit, I’m still not sure of the answer. I know it’s not the first option..pfft—no way. I’m leaning and have been acting more towards the second option. But again, I don’t know.
So, what do you do? Do you tell your kids everything? Really? Help? Thanks in advance.
My Partner, who is 66 years old, was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease last year. We noticed that he was experiencing hallucinations, slow movement, disturbed sleep, and twitchy hands and legs when at rest. He had to stop taking pramipexole (Sifrol), carbidopa/levodopa, and 2 mg of biperiden because of side effects. Our family doctor recommended a PD-5 treatment from naturalherbscentre. com, which my husband has been undergoing for several months now. Exercise has been very beneficial. He has shown great improvement with the treatment thus far. He is more active now, does more, and feels less apathetic. He has more energy and can do more activities in a day than he did before. As far as tremors I observe a progress, he improved drastically. I thought I would share my husband's story in case it could be helpful, but ultimately you have to figure out what works best for you. Salutations and well wishes
That’s a tough one. So far I have had no serious illnesses, but I think about this quite a bit. In my case, my daughter and oldest son were abandoned by their father. I have four children, and everybody gets along great. I think disclosing a potentially serious illness too early would be a bad idea. However I do often discuss matters of a deeply spiritual nature, even death, with my grandchildren -who as young adults are open and curious. They talk about hating the prospect of certain inevitable losses. That’s the groundwork that would enable me to share the challenges of growing older with them, those uncertainties. But my three sons and daughter -? I’m not so sure.