Eulogy For A Friend
I don't know what happens when people die Can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear That I can't sing I can't help listening
I think I've found my niche as a writer. I write sweet, moving eulogies after people die. I've just figured out it's my way of dealing with death.
I admit it...death scares me. I'm not good with it. I've made a decision not to go to funerals anymore. Unless you're in my immediate family, I'm not coming to see you off. I'll pay a condolence call, go to your Shiva and I'll write about you but that's it. Probably not all that healthy but that's how I deal.
And....I'm not sure if it's the actual death that freaks me out, it's more what happens afterwards.
I recently had a little chat with a Rabbi about the subject. I asked if he could get me some proof about the Heaven vs Hell thing. He couldn't. Damn him and that all about faith thing.
You know I'm obsessed with this subject since it happened at dinner at MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING!!! SHEESH!!!!
Seriously....I get how this is suppose to work. Circle of life crap. Your parents and their generation die...fine. That's how it's suppose to be. What if your children die? Nothing could be worse..let's move past this now. But what about your friends? Your own peer group. It's sad and scary....and at my age (63), it's happening more often than I like.
Let's face it, in my age group, people are going to die. Sometimes it happens very suddenly. Here and healthy one day...gone the next without an explanation. We really can't even say "he died so young" anymore....although we always do. And even though we don't like to admit it, it reminds us of our own mortality. The thought can't help but run through your head 'am I next'? Scary.
When it happened with a college friend on Tuesday, it brought up so many thoughts and emotions.
I remember meeting him when we were 18, one of my first college friends. A kid from Chicago and a kid from Nashville. Very different and yet we bonded and became friends.
I remember him setting me up with a date for a party. When I was stood up, he said "Howie, you're better off. She was too fast for you anyway."
I remember having a 7:30 AM English class with his roommate. When both of us missed the class, which happened a lot, he was always there to laugh at us for being chumps who would schedule 7:30 AM class.
I remember him being an adult and comforting after telling him about my father having a heart attack.
It really sucks that someone had to die to bring back those memories but those memories are comforting. It makes the loss somewhat better.
As you can see I'm sad over the loss of my friend. His funeral was on Thursday and there were 700 people in attendance. SEVEN HUNDRED! That's a lot of love for a special guy.
I was told that a part of the eulogy I wrote for him on Facebook was mentioned by the Rabbi.....to 700 people. That's more folks than will likely read this. Thanks Marshall...I can always use the publicity!
See....this eulogy thing may work out. Late in life new career....maybe. I'm available, although it's a day to day thing. But if you're thinking of dying, let me know. I'll be more than happy to write some nice things about you.
Just do the steps that you've been shown By everyone you've ever known Until the dance becomes your very own No matter how close to yours another's steps have grown In the end there is one dance you'll do alone
The lyrics in the block quotes are from a Jackson Browne song called "For A Dancer". You can find that tune and others in 10 Great Songs About Death.
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