Everybody must get stoned: The search for legal weed
Well, they'll stone you when you're trying to be so good They'll stone you just like they said they would They'll stone you when you're trying to go home And they'll stone you when you're there all alone But I would not feel so all alone Everybody must get stoned
Recreational marijuana has been legal in Illinois since the start of 2020. Seven entire days. The trick is trying to get some. It ain't easy kids. There have been long lines and a shortage of product. The dispensaries have been running out early. A common theme has been to try again tomorrow....and then the next day...and the next day. It's frustrating! It would be even worse if I actually want to use the product. I just want to see what a dispensary is like and write about this. Sheesh!
Wednesday, January 1, 2020: It's New Year's Day! Opening day for the legal weed industry in Illinois. I wanted to check out my local pot shop, but the early lines were around the block. I figured if I waited until the afternoon, maybe it would die down a bit. It did, but not enough. The line was still long. A security guard told me to come back tomorrow at nine. I knew this was a possibility, so I wasn't too disappointed.
Well, they'll stone you when you're walking on the street They'll stone you when you're tryin' to keep your seat They'll stone you when you're walkin' on the floor They'll stone you when you're walkin' to the door But I would not feel so all alone Everybody must get stoned
Thursday, January 2, 2020: The folks on the morning news said the lines were as long as the ones yesterday. I'm no fool. I skipped day two with plans to try the next day.
They'll stone you when you're at the breakfast table They'll stone you when you are young and able They'll stone you when you're tryin' to make a buck Then they'll stone you and then they'll say "good luck" Tell ya what, I would not feel so all alone Everybody must get stoned
Friday, January 3, 2020: Once again I wait til the afternoon to try my luck. Two buses and a short walk later I've arrived. Hmmm...no lines. That's a good sign, right. There's a reason for this. They're out of weed. No gummies. No chocolate bars. No drinks. No buds. Nada. Nothing. Zip! I again hear those magic words...."Come back tomorrow." I'm not coming back tomorrow or anytime on the weekend. If you think they were busy the first three days, imagine what a Saturday would be like. Folks looking for product to get their buzz on for a Saturday night. I'll try again on Monday.
Well, they'll stone you and say that it's the end Then they'll stone you and then they'll come back again They'll stone you when you're riding in your car They'll stone you when you're playing your guitar Yes, but I would not feel so all alone Everybody must get stoned alright
Monday, January 6, 2020-10 am: Once again I arrive at my local dispensary. Things are looking good. No one is in line. There's no police or security guarding the door. Maybe the novelty is wearing off? I reach the front door, pull on the handle and nothing happens. I try again...nothing. The door is locked. Maybe you need to get buzzed inside? But there's not a buzzer. What the hell is going on here? I pull out my phone and do a little Googling. Hmmm...the store is closed on Mondays!! Are you kidding me? It's the first full work week of the new year and people can't get the weed they need to make it through? Sigh!
Monday, January 6, 2020-3 pm: I'm not giving up. The shop in Wrigleyville isn't the only one in my hood. There's another one a couple of miles north. Let's see what the story is up there. It's a different tune, but the lyrics are the same. Out of product. Come back tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020-1 pm: Another search, another bus ride. Back to uptown. No lines. I would take that as a good sign, but I've been on this trip before. Fool me once, yada yada yada! I find a single security guard at the door. Here's what he told me, "You have to come back tomorrow at 7:30 (that's am). You line up and we'll give you a number. We'll also take your cell phone number and you can leave. Get breakfast, run errands, go home. We'll text you when your number is close. You come back and get to come inside." Hmmmm...that sounds pretty efficient. The only problem is getting up at 6ish to make this work. I don't want to do this bad enough to do that, especially when the temperature is around twenty. A different type of chill...and not the good kind. I went back to the dispensary in Wrigleyville. I'm nothing if not persistent. Again, no lines in front. Hmmm...what do you think the story is this time. Turns out their line is at a building a block away. I walked over...see...persistent. There's the line. I asked how long? THREE HOURS!!!!
I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!
After a week of this, I finally have had enough. The novelty of this has not worn off soon enough for me. Maybe I'll try again in a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll wait until Spring. Maybe I'll totally blow it off. What I really should do is get a medical card. People with those go to the front of all the lines.
And to Bob Dylan...yeah, yeah...we all want to get stoned, but they're making it too hard.
Well, they'll stone you when you walk all alone They'll stone you when you are walking home They'll stone you and then say you are brave They'll stone you when you are set down in your grave But I would not feel so all alone Everybody must get stoned
Related Post/ Legal weed begins in Illinois: Let's go get stoned
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