Five things that tell you you're officially old.
I had another birthday.
Yesterday, I turned seventy-one years old. How did that happen? Yeah, I know it's much better than the alternative. Yeah, I know plenty of people aren't lucky enough to reach this age. I'm grateful for all of that, but still, SEVENTY-ONE!!
When you reach this age, there are plenty of things that remind you of your age. Some are good, some aren't. For today, let's focus on the latter. Here are five things that remind you that you are old.
At 71, you are now closer to ninety than you are to fifty. Yeah, I do know that this was true at seventy-plus one day, but it really hits home at this age. And for my friends who are this age and didn't realize it until reading this, sorry, but that doesn't make it less true.
You deal more with doctors and body issues than you did when you were younger…a lot more. Here’s an example: I'm in physical therapy for my arm. My partner who is a year younger, is in PT for her back. We have a paper calendar on which we track our therapy dates so they don't occur at the same time. Last Wednesday I went at 11:30, she had hers at 1:00. It was close but we made it work…barely. Btw, it's not only PT on the calendar. We have Dermatologists, Orthopedists, a mammogram, two physicals, a pain doctor and an MRI on the schedule…and that is all happening in the month of June.
There seem to be a lot of conversations about pharmaceutical drugs and medical procedures. Last fall, I had lunch with a group of college friends. Two of us had recently undergone kidney stone removal surgery so that’s where we started. We moved on to comparing blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes meds. After a half hour, I looked around and said do we realize how old we sound? In reality, we are. And it's not only prescription drugs. You see ads for drugs like Prevagen, which supposedly helps memory function and Balance of Nature fruits and vegetables pills, which I have no idea what it does or how it helps, and you think ‘hmmm…I wonder if I should try this out?’ Scary, isn't it? Plus, get this, a couple of days ago I received a text out of nowhere that asked if I was interested in participating in a clinical trial for Alzheimer's meds. Why? Do you think my age had anything to do with this?
I now spend as much time checking out the obituaries as I do any other newspaper section. I never did this until the last couple of years. At first, I was looking for parents of friends but sadly, they are almost all gone. Now I'm mostly looking at the ages of the deceased. I'm finding a lot of folks who have passed were in the same decade of life as me. It makes you think. Actually, it makes you overthink.
Talking about death, when you hit this age you realize you're closer to the end than the beginning. I know that's already been true for a couple of decades, but now it's much, MUCH closer. I've been thinking a lot about where do you go when it's over. No, not the heaven vs hell part, although now that I brought it up I suppose I can again obsess over that again, I'm trying to figure out what to do with the actual body. I've had this discussion with a couple of my siblings and my sig other. Actually, it's been multiple discussions. Although I've been offered a burial plot, I decided long ago that I want to be cremated. I know talking about this is normal and important but it never crossed my mind when I was younger or even middle-aged. Is this an old person’s discussion? Yeah, I think it is. By the way, we’ve been trying to figure out how to tell my daughters about this because they need to know this, right? I was thinking of doing it at yesterday’s birthday brunch but it didn’t seem to be appropriate to have this conversation while being served waffles and omelets. Hmmm…maybe they’ll read this here? Not likely! Or, if you happen to be a friend of theirs, can you let them know? Thanks in advance.
All of this has tired me out. I think I'll take a nap and then head out to the park, sit on the bench and feed the birds and look at the clouds. OMG, I’m turning into George Burns, Art Carney and Lee Strasberg in “Going in Style” If you see me out there, keep off the lawn.