I’m moving to Canada with a salesgirl from the Apple Store

Leaving the United States because of politics is now a real thing. It has been talked about for years, by both sides of the political spectrum, but talk was all it was. But now we’re seeing celebrities who are either scared by Trump or pretending to be scared, leaving the country.

I’ve always wanted to live in Canada. Back in the Vietnam days, I told my parents I was going to Canada before I would step foot in Southeast Asia. My draft number, remember those, was in the two-hundred fifty range so all the talk was moot.

Last November, I made a few jokes about moving to Canada because of the election results—THEY WERE JOKES. There were a few who took it seriously because I was told by more than a few people that Canada wasn’t that great and their citizens wouldn’t welcome us. I repeat—THEY WERE JOKES!!

But we’re closing in on two months of this new administration and it’s not going well. We’re hated by all our allies. The people in the red states who swore their lives would be better if he was elected are finding out they’ll be the ones most affected horribly. All those jokes aren’t so funny anymore, are they?

On Wednesday, I was at the Apple Store in my local mall. I was wearing a pair of dark blue sneakers. The salesperson commented that she liked them—hmm—do you think she was hoping that would get me to buy something? I showed her that I was wearing a matching denim shirt plus blue jeans—a Canadian Tuxedo. She responded that she loved Canada and would like to move there. WOW!!! She picked the right guy to tell that to. After telling her my feelings about Canada, we jokingly decided we were moving there together—again JOKINGLY!!

We moved on to where in the country would we live. She suggested Banff. I guess she’s into skiing. I told her how beautiful Victoria is. We decided that we could figure it out later. As I was leaving, she reminded me that the store is closing at the end of April so we had more than a month to figure it out.

Yesterday, I was back in the Apple Store. I made eye contact with my ‘friend’ from the day before, but she gave no indication that she remembered me. Damn! One day you’re moving with someone to a foreign country, the next day nothing…nada…zip!!

I guess my plan of living in Canada is nothing more than a pipe dream. Although maybe someone reading this has the same idea and needs someone to help make the move a bit less stressful. Hey, we don’t even have to know each other—I just spent the last four hundred words showing I’m not that particular. But you have to be ready if and when the opportunity hits. So please stand, put your hand over your heart and sing along with me:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.