I'm Sorry Robin Williams Isn't Feeling Bad Today
It's okay to feel bad. At least you're still feeling.
One year ago today I was in my weekly therapy session. Every Monday from 10-11 am. I have no idea what I talked about with Therapist #2 that day (and man do I miss her) but as we were chatting, the body of Robin Williams was being discovered. Suicide!
When I first heard the news, I was saddened but not surprised. His lengthy battle with depression and addiction was well known. My emotions changed a few days later.
The announcement that Williams had recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's threw me off kilter...way off kilter. I went from a general sadness to how does this affect me as a person with Parkinson's Disease?
It took a few days to figure out it had zero effect on me. There's a saying in the Parkinson's world...if you meet one person with Parkinson's, you've met one person with Parkinson's.
That's how different this disease is. Nobody is the same. Because Robin Williams committed suicide doesn't mean I will...or you...or you...or you!!
Over the last few years I've belonged to a couple of groups that tend to suffer from depression...the Parkinson's and the Homeless communities. Trust me, I've had my moments of despair. It comes with the territory.
A couple of weeks ago I was analyzing how 2015 was going. Increased Parkinson's symptoms, Cancer surgery and a couple of personal things that messed with my head. I drew the conclusion that 2015 was worse than the previous year. For a guy who spent all of 2014 in a homeless shelter, that's some pretty fucked up thinking.
The good news is I realized my thoughts weren't true. I was just having a bad moment. Nothing wrong with that. After a chat with therapist #3, I was relatively sane again. Keyword: relatively. And that's why she's paid the big bucks!
The quote up top belongs to me. I came up with it while working with therapist #2. It was said in almost all of our sessions. It's my mental health mantra. Feel free to quote me any time. You feel bad...okay...you realize it, you acknowledge it, now what are you going to do about it?
So on the first anniversary of Robin Williams' suicide, if you're feeling bad, if you're feeling depressed, if you're feeling in need of help, what are you going to do about it? You don't always have to be strong. You do have to do something!
The government has made it harder than it used to be because every time there's a cutback, it's usually the mental health community that takes the first hit. That's what happened to therapist #2. Bastards!
Still, if you Google 'Therapists in Chicago', you'll find over 36,000,000 results. THIRTY-SIX MILLION!! You'll likely find the same thing in your area.
The point being help is out there. No matter how bad you're feeling, at least you're still feeling and you don't have to go through it alone.
On this sad anniversary, I'm sorry Robin Williams isn't feeling bad today.
Today's blog fits in both the Parkinson's and Faces of Homelessness categories. Click on the links to find stories that are related.
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