Is anything totally selfless?
Remember this episode of Friends? Joey and Phoebe have a discussion about how no good deeds are selfless. Joe thinks that you always get something out of doing some good for someone else. Pheebes keeps trying to prove him wrong. I don't remember how the episode ends but I'm pretty sure I agree with Joey...which is kind of scary.
A few days ago, I wrote this post about teaching a writing class at a homeless shelter. I tried to make it clear that I was getting as much out of the class as my students....maybe more. I look forward to our hour each week. It makes me feel good.
So what was my motivation for doing this? Sure, I like to help people in need and I was happy to help an organization that helped me when I need the help but I knew I was going to get some good out of it, too.
It's a win/win, right? Nothing wrong with that, right? But it doesn't make it totally selfless, does it?
So where can you find a totally selfless deed?
How about when we help our own children? Most of us want our children to do better than ourselves. That's something that has gone down for generations. When a child succeeds because of a deed or sacrifice we've made, we're happy and proud. Damn...not so selfless anymore.
Let's try this one...a few days ago, I helped a blind woman across a busy street. Nothing in it for me. In fact, I almost missed my bus doing this. Keyword is almost. I did catch my bus and looked out the window to see the woman walking into her building. I smiled...DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
I keep wracking my brain over this. I can only find one example and that's when a soldier lays down their own life to save the lives of his/her fellow soldiers. I am cynical enough to wonder what the motivation is for doing this? We'll never know, will we?
C'mon help me with this, please. As Phoebe said, "I don't want to live in a world where Joey is right."