Is there anything more icky than having sex with a used condom?
It was 2013. The Lakeview area of Chicago. I walked into my new primary physician's office for the first time. I'm at the front desk to check in before my appointment. There's a big plastic bowl on the counter. Cool...they have candy. I reach in hoping for a Butterfinger or maybe a Milky Way. Hmmm...that doesn't feel anything like that. It's round. Maybe it's a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup? Nope...nothing like that.
CONDOMS!!
My name is called. Time to meet my new doctor. I head to the back office. Hmmm...another plastic bowl. Maybe this one has candy? Nope...nothing like that.
MORE CONDOMS!!
There was one more bowl of condoms on my way back to the examination room. All different colors, too. Red ones, blue ones, green ones, black ones. Just reach in and grab a few...or more than a few. Take what you need or what you think you'll need or what you hope you'll need. No questions asked.
My doctor's office isn't the only place to provide condoms for their clients. Lots of clinics and private offices do the same thing. That's how easy it is to get a condom these days.
So when I saw this story on my ChicagoNow colleague Little Merry Sunshine facebook page, I was more than a little surprised. Not to mention more than a little grossed out.
For those of you who don't feel a need to click on the link to read the story, and I can't blame you for that, here's a quick recap: The Center for Disease Control is warning people to stop reusing condoms. Apparently guys are using them, washing them and using them again. The CDC advised, "Use a fresh one for each sex act."
Their reasons include that they become less effective in preventing diseases and have a better chance of breaking during the act. The one thing that's not mentioned is that it's just fucking icky..PUN INTENDED!
I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that. The comments about this story include UGH, EWWW, and YUCK!!! I'm surprised there's not more of them.
Another comment said, "If you can't afford a condom, you can't afford to have sex."
Now I don't want to go that far. Sex shouldn't be for only the upper 1%. Sex should be an equal opportunity activity. If you really want to participate and desperately need a condom and can't afford to buy one, I'm going to help you out. Give me a call. Send me a text. I'll grab a few from my doctor's office and make the delivery. That should set you up for the night or a couple of nights. Again, no judgement, no questions asked!
Hmmm...this could be a new side gig for me. It could be like the Grubhub of the sex industry. Plus, since I'll be stealing getting the condoms from my doctor's office for free, the rates will be cheap. Just a slight charge for the delivery. Win/win, right? I might even promise that if you're in the area, I'll get them to you in an hour or else it's free...just like Domino's Pizza. If you can't wait an hour, maybe you should have thought ahead or, even better, work on those foreplay skills that I hear are a pretty important part of sex.
Yanno...the more I think about this idea, the more I like it. Condom delivery is an idea whose time has cum.
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