It's time to Spring into the April Month in Review

April is the first full month of Spring. It brings people out of their homes after a long winter. That tends to lead to a lot of ridiculous behavior. So let’s see what happened.

Did you hear that Donald Trump was indicted and arrested in New York City? He said that while he was being arraigned, policemen were crying. That explains why that one cop let the door close on Trump. Apparently, the door handle slipped out of his wet hands.

In election news, Chicago has elected Brandon Johnson as its new mayor. He defeated perennial candidate Paul Vallas in the run-off election. While I was a sort-of Johnson supporter, I have a feeling we may be regretting this vote four years from now. However, if Vallas had won, I know we would be regretting it and much sooner than 2027. In Chicago, we seem to get the worst choices of candidates and we then elect the worst of them. Is it possible we’ll be pining for the return of Lori Lightfoot? Naaaah!!!

In Wisconsin, there was an election for one state Supreme Court seat. Liberal Janet Protasiewicz defeated conservative Dan Kelly…and by a lot. In his lovely concession speech, Kelly said, “I wish that in a circumstance like this, I would be able to concede to a worthy opponent. But I do not have a worthy opponent.” He also called her a “serial liar” and wished the state a lot of luck because he thinks they’ll now need it. How gracious of him! Even Bill O’Reilly called it “the most bitter concession speech.” When you’ve lost Bill O’Reilly….well moving on.

Talking about former Fox News host, Tucker Carlson, who held the same time slot as Billy O. was fired. A couple hours later it was announced that Don Lemon was dumped by CNN. Not a bad day…a little something for everyone.

In bigger Fox news, the Dominion case was settled for $785.5 million. That’s a lot of zeroes. The day before the settlement former Fox host Gretchen Carlson pipped in with this tweet: “PLEASE Dominion — Do not settle with Fox! You’re about to prove something very big.” This is from someone who settled with Fox for a tidy twenty million dollars. Maybe as a former Miss America, your wish you should have gone for making Fox a creditable news organization?

In the news of the South, Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves declared April as Confederate Heritage Month. I guess April does make sense for doing this because the Civil War began and ended during the month as well as the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. To be honest, I thought every month was Confederate Heritage Month, in Mississippi. I guessed all those Confederate flags fooled me.

More southern news occurred when Republicans in Tennessee decided to expel three Democratic lawmakers. Their reasoning was they supported a gun control protest in the House chambers. Both Justin Pearson and Justin Jones were voted out while Gloria Johnson kept her seat by one vote. Can you guess the difference between them? I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t because Peterson’s first name isn’t Justin.

In music news, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn broke up after a six-year relationship. I look forward to her next album where I predict she’ll have six songs about this…one for each year.

Talking about breakups, Elon Musk’s SpaceX sent up a rocket that exploded about a minute after takeoff. That’s not surprising considering Twitter exploded about a minute after Elon purchased the site. If you’re driving a Tesla, I’d take this as a sign to be very careful.

Here’s my favorite story of April, youth baseball is starting up and a league in Deptford Township, New Jersey is being proactive against bad behavior by parents. Every time a parent yells at an umpire, who is usually a kid, they will be made to umpire three games before being permitted to watch games again. What an ingenious idea. Where was this when I was coaching my daughter’s softball teams? I usually solved any problem by pushing the offending adult against a fence and telling them to shut the fuck up. This seems a little less violent than my way.

Let’s get to the guns because in 2023 there will always be stories about guns:

At Christian Covenant School, in Nashville, Tennessee, there was a mass shooting that cost three children and an adult their lives. Conservative talk show host Charlie Kirk said what we always thought they believed out loud: “It’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment.” Apparently, our kids are now disposable. Kirk has a nine-month-old daughter. I wonder if he would feel the same way if something happened to her. The difference is none of us who believe in responsible gun laws would ever think the loss of anyone is worth it.

We had another mass shooting in Cleveland, Texas. A man was shooting off a gun in his backyard. His next-door neighbor came over to ask him to stop because it was keeping one of the children awake. The response was to bust into the house and shoot five people to their death. The shooter escaped which led to a nationwide manhunt. Texas Governor Greg Abbott offered a reward for his capture in this distasteful tweet: “Announcing a $50K reward for a @TxDPS top 10 fugitive who is in the country illegally and killed five illegal immigrants Friday night.” How easy would it have been to eliminate the word illegal? You know Abbott didn’t give a damn about any of them. For him, this was easier than shipping people off to New York, Chicago, and other cities.

Finally, remember the last 4th of July when there was a mass shooting at a parade in Highland Park, Illinois? This year they will not hold a parade. Instead, they will hold a remembrance ceremony. It will be followed by a moment of silence and a community walk along the 2022 parade route. In the evening, there will be entertainment at the local football field, but no fireworks.

The city bordering Highland Park to the west is Deerfield. I like to think of the two as sister cities, especially since they do share a high school district. Their celebration will include a parade on the 4th. The evening before they will have their entertainment program which will feature food, music, and yes, fireworks.

I like fireworks as much as anybody, but this seems more than a little distasteful to me. You would think that the folks in charge of making this decision would realize that their neighbors in HP are still hurting from the events of last year. For many of them, the sound of fireworks sets them off. It’s just another reminder of the gunshots that killed seven and wounded forty-eight more. How easy would it be to show some solidarity?

Just a note on this, I grew up in Highland Park. I now live in Deerfield. I can walk to where the fireworks show will be held in less than five minutes. This year, I’ll be boycotting the fireworks and plan on marching with the people of Highland Park. SOLIDARITY!!

That’s all for April. I’m scared about May…really! See you at the end of the month.