My Doctor's Dog Ate His Homework
I paid a visit to my Pulmonary doctor on Friday. The purpose was to go over some test results from a month ago.
Let's review what happened in the past that led up to Friday.
While looking for a kidney stone, a scan showed a small nodule in my left lung. We were told to keep an eye on it and we did. Five C.T. Scans in 18 months. The fifth one showed some growth. I was sent to a Pulmonary doctor at the University of Illinois- Chicago Hospital.
The Pulmonologist took a look at the old and new disks and said Cancer. Chemo & radiation were close behind. He brought in his supervisor and he said the same thing.
They set me up with a series of tests, including another scan. Everything came back normal. The nodule came back to the earlier size and shape. "You probably had an infection that cleared up." Cancer....nevermind. "Come on in on the 13th and we'll chat!"
Friday was the 13th. You know what kind of bizarre shit happens on Friday the 13th, don't you? Well get ready!!
I started the appointment by why they brought up the Cancer so quickly. " Well, Mr. Moore, we see this often and when we do, it's usually Cancer."
Keyword the is USUALLY! IDIOTS!!
Then we started with the test results. Blood work is fine. Heart & Lung ultrasound is fine. " I'll be right back with the disks and show you what we saw."
Get ready cuz here comes that Friday the 13th, WTF moment.
Five minutes later, the doctor returns. " Mr. Moore, we can't find the disks. Maybe the nurses filed them elsewhere. We're Sorry."
In real life terms....the dog ate my homework.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!
And then they blame the nurses. Smooth. BTW, those nurses at UIC are wonderful, dedicated hard working people. They're the best!!
Now I know he saw the disks since he called me with the results last month. He wouldn't make that up, right? RIGHT?
So here's the wind-up. No Cancer. Probably just an infection. The nurses fucked up (eyeroll). And, we'll do one more lung scan in June just to make sure.
Why not....a little more radiation won't hurt me.
IDIOTS!!