My membership in the Donald Trump fan club has expired!
Happy Impeachment Day-part 2!!
Today is the start of the impeachment trial of Donald Trump. For only the third time in our country's history, a President will be going on trial to see if he should ejected from the White House. A conviction has never happened before and we're ninety-nine per cent sure it won't happen now. Still, even when he's acquitted by the Senate, Donald Trump will always have the word 'impeached' as part of his life's legacy.
On the day the trial starts, I received an interesting email from the President....actually from his campaign:
Friend, According to our records, your Sustaining Membership has EXPIRED. This is an official notice that your Sustaining Membership has EXPIRED. If you don’t renew soon, your status will be marked as lapsed. President Trump wanted us to reach out and ask you why that was.
You might be surprised that Don and his people consider me a friend. I was, too. Then I realized that he has my email because I gave it him. It was the only way I could get tickets to an event that the dude didn't have enough balls to attend. How was I to know that it would lead to emails for more than one thousand consecutive days? Yes, I get something from him daily. That's right...EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!!!!!
I've been trying to find a way to get off this list, but to no avail. It really isn't that big a deal. His emails are just another piece of spam that I wake up to each morning. I just hit delete ten times instead of nine. But occasionally, one of his emails catches my eye. Today was one of those times. Is this my lucky day?
As you can see, my membership has expired. My status is going to be marked as lapsed! Does this mean no more daily emails? I'm sure it's a tease. I know they're just messing with me! Actually, they are extorting me. Here's what they tell me later in the message:
Contribute $5 or more before 11:59 tonight to renew you OFFICIAL 2020 SUSTAINING MEMBERSHIP and let President Trump know you're with him in 2020.
See? This expired/lapsed thing is just their way of trying to get money from me. Is extortion an impeachable offense? Should I forward this email to Nancy Pelosi and Shifty Schiff?
But, all of this did give me an idea. Don, I'll double the amount of that donation if you resign and leave the White House. Go back to New York. Go to Florida. Even better, go to Russia where you're loved. Just Go!!! And if my ten bucks isn't enough, I bet we could find some Americans...and probably Canadians, Mexicans and folks from Europe...that will pay ten bucks, too. All of that could add up to a lot of money...and we know money is what you're all about. It's a win/win for you and democracy.
I know all this is a pipe dream. I know Don isn't going anywhere....sadly not until 2025. I know the emails aren't going anywhere, either....expired/lapsed or not. But a guy has to have dreams. Without them what does he have?
I look forward to tomorrow's email. My delete button is ready.
Related Post: All I want for Christmas is Donald Trump impeached
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