Parkinson's Disease vs Kidney Stones: Who Wins A Street Fight?
I have a kindred spirit in the fight against Parkinson's. My bud Bob, who I never have met, has PD and also blogs about the battle. He also has a team that raises a ton of money for Parkinson's while I'm more about raising Awareness...well I tell myself that.
A couple of days ago, his Facebook page had a picture of him in the hospital. Kidney Stones. I tried to be supportive by telling him I've had seven. His comeback was that this was number 23. Yanno Ryne Sandberg 23. MJ 23. I repeat Twenty-Fucking-Three-Kidney-Fucking Stones!!
I now pose the question....Parkinson's v Kidney Stones and death is not an option.
With PD it's basically tremors, can't walk straight, spilling of shit, a fall here or there and some other crap. Nothing too bad. Eyeroll!
Now that I've pissed off about a million people worldwide and a few organizations, let's talk stones.
My first one was at my mother's home in Palm Desert, California. One day I had spasms in my lower back. Bad ones. After an hour they went away. The next day I was peeing blood. Not microscopic but bright red. Did I tell anyone? No! Why? Cuz I'm a guy and that's what we do.
I kept getting spasms and kept lying to doctors about blood in my urine. Why? Cuz I'm a guy and that's what we do.
Weeks went by and I'm still in pain plus I've lost about 30 pounds. I've now diagnosed this. I have Cancer and I'm dying. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was. Did I tell anyone this? No. Why? Cuz I'm a guy and that's what we do.
Then one day I'm reading some medical thingy and see all these symptoms and what it means. Bazinga!! Kidney Stones!
I really suck at math but I put this equation together and I run off to my doctor. She come to the same conclusion.
She tells me to pound water, gives me a weeks worth of Vicodins and let's me know I'm going to live.
A few days later this thing that looks like a popcorn kernel comes flowing out in my urine. No pain just relief. I wrap it in toilet paper and save it so it can get analyzed. An hour later I saw my dog eating it. DJ!! Really!! Sigh!
If you're scoring this fight at home, who's winning? Think it over for a day and tomorrow I'll give you another couple of stories.
Bob, my man...feel better. Happy Monday
Dudes...I Tweet!! Follow me @howardmoore611