Suicide is NOT Painless
A former classmate of mine committed suicide a few days ago. He's the fifth person I've known to die by doing this.
It was 21 years ago that one of my closest friends shot himself to death. I remember when he bought the gun about six months earlier. He said he was taking up target shooting and invited me to the range a few times. I declined because I was busy with work and two children under the age of two. I thought it was strange a guy who had never shot a gun was now going to a shooting range three times a week but I let it pass.
I then saw him at my 40th birthday party. He was sitting next to me and was mingling with other guest. I had no idea anything was wrong. A month later he was dead.
I can remember the call at 4 am from his girlfriend. She was crying so hard that I couldn't understand what she was saying. I can remember the look on the face of his father at the wake. Parents are not suppose to bury their children. I doubt he ever recovered from this. All around was pain, sadness, anguish, grief and confusion.
I didn't really know my former classmate, Johnny P. I wouldn't even call us acquaintances. I'd see him at events the last few years and we might nod at each other but that was about it. But in the last day, I've seen tributes to him by his closest friends who are in shock over what occurred. It's the same things I remember from two decades ago. It's the same pain and sadness. It's also wondering if they could have done something to help.
Everyone of us has our demons. Some are mental, some are physical, sometimes both. Most of us figure out a way to deal with them. A few don't and sometimes it leads to a drastic and final choice.
Rest in peace to my classmate John and my friend Les. For their friends and family left behind, hopefully they find peace.