The all about Trump edition of The Month in Review
I’ve been taking a somewhat satirical look at the news each month at the former site. That continues here at Substack.
If you thought that Beto O’Rourke calling someone a motherfucker at a rally would top the list, you’d be wrong. Maybe the Los Angeles Angels hitting seven home runs in a game and still losing would get more than a mention, ummm nope.
That’s because the things that have been going on with the former guy and his current supporters have been so strange that he gets this column all to himself. Damn, not him again. Sigh! Oh well….here goes:
In the Missouri primary election, Trump decided his endorsement would go to someone named Eric. The problem was there were two dudes running named Eric. Don left it to our imagination to figure out which one he meant. I’m thinking he meant his son, Eric, even though the only thing he’s running from is the law in New York.
August means it’s CPAC time. One of the former guy’s supporters thinks he’ll regain the presidency and soon. Oh yeah, and if that doesn’t happen, she’s hoping God takes out the earth. Not take out as in a date, but as in burning down the entire house.
Talking about God, Julie Green, who has her own ministry, said that God has spoken with her. Julie was told that Trump will soon replace President Biden. Hmmm, well that certainly will make the CPAC person happy.
Did you hear that Mar-A-Lago was raided? The Justice Department and the FBI were looking to recover papers that belonged to the government. In more than a bit of irony, the date of the search was on the anniversary of Richard Nixon resigning his presidency.
Naturally, Don’s son Eric had a response to the Mar-A-Lago search. “If you’re pissed as Hell, donate at DonaldTump.com.” With all the Trumps, grifting is a 24/7/365 job.
New York’s Attorney General Leticia James finally got to ask Trump questions in a deposition in the case against his company. The only one he gave a legitimate answer to was his name. The other four hundred-plus times, he invoked the fifth amendment. Didn’t he once say only those who are guilty invoke the fifth? Of course, he did. Hmmm….did he even give his real name?
His best buddy in the Senate Lindsey Graham threatened that there will be violence in the streets of America if Trump is arrested. Doesn’t Linds have his own problems due to making calls trying to overturn the vote in Georgia? Do you think there will be violence if Graham is arrested? Do you think anyone would actually care? How do you think he’d manage in prison? Maybe he could share a cell with Trump. Do federal prisons have golf courses?
Back to elections and the presidency. Trump thinks the FBI buried the Hunter Biden briefcase story. He feels that cost him the election. Because of this, he demanded to be reinstated as president or at least get an immediate re-do with a new election. Apparently, he has never read The Constitution, which doesn’t surprise anyone. We all know the only thing that he’s read are those classified documents that he stole on his way out of the White House. He’ll have plenty of time to read The Constitution, which he’ll be able to find in the prison library.
Finally, talking about those classified documents, which you can see in the above photo, Don closes the month by claiming the FBI planted them and then took the picture. I don’t know about that, but he does seem to know a lot about planting. His first ex-wife has a lovely spot at a golf course.
That’s it for August. We can only hope September isn’t as bizarre.…please!