The anxiety of Melanoma never ends

Ten years ago, on Valentine’s Day, I found a mole on my back. It turned out to be Melanoma. Luckily I caught it early. Luckily it was at a lower stage. Luckily it was dispatched by a relatively easy surgical procedure. Luckily it hasn’t returned. Unluckily I can’t get it out of my mind.

That leads us to last month.

One day I found a bright red mark on my upper chest. I had never seen any mole that had looked like it before. It certainly didn’t look like a Melanoma mole, but that didn’t stop me from thinking it might be. Usually, this causes me to immediately call my dermatologist's office and tell them about it, but not this time. I figured I could show her in two weeks when I was scheduled for my bi-yearly body check.

But, then the red mark disappeared. When I went for the body check, I forgot all about it.

And then it came back. Same shape, same color, same spot! But the timing was bad. I found it on the Friday before Christmas. What were the chances of getting an appointment before the office closed for the holidays? They were zero—Z E R O!! The earliest appointment was January 21—next Tuesday. I was on the waiting list, but I’m always on a waiting list for all my doctors—I should be writing about this but that’s for another time.

So I did what every anxiety-ridden Melanoma survivor would do—I went to my local Immediate Care Center.

The doctor there, who is not a dermatologist, told me he thought it was a lesion. He said it was most likely not serious but to check with my dermatologist to be certain. And then he wished me a Happy Holiday. Yeah, right!

So guess what happened next—c’mon, you can get there!! The second red mark disappeared!! Seriously, I’m not that creative a writer to make this up.

I still have the appointment on the 21st as a follow-up for another issue. And then—sigh—I’m getting ready for bed on Tuesday night when I see something near my neck. This one is easy—it’s red lesion number THREE!!

HAT TRICK!!

Naturally, I begin to overthink the situation. My appointment is a week away. Should I be cool and wait out seven days or look for something sooner? We all know I not that cool. I immediately hit up their website to see if there was anything available.

Voila!!

There was an opening for Wednesday morning with my doctor’s assistant. I’ve seen her enough times that I trust her to diagnose this. Off to the big city I go.

She checked out the mark and told me she was almost certain that it wasn’t any form of skin cancer. Most normal folks would take this as a good thing. The anxiety-ridden, neurotic Melanoma survivor hears “almost certain” and blah, blah, blah.

She also told me that maybe I should have my primary physician take a look at this if it continues to leave and come back. Naturally, I heard ‘check with your primary physician immediately’ —and that’s what I did. I made an appointment with her office for the next day. (Shaking my head)

So I went to see my doctor and guess what she said, “You’ve had enough of these things that you should know it’s not skin cancer. It looks like a bruise or maybe it’s a reaction to the antibiotic you were taking. But, you can chill (she actually used that word), it’s not skin cancer.”

Phew—kind of! Here’s the thing—I’m never going to “chill” about this stuff. It’s not in my nature and it’s not in the nature of anyone who has been through this. I can relax about this event—at least until the next time. And in my neurotic mind, the next time will be here sooner than later.