The art of listening
Each month ChicagoNow has a little writing exercise called Blogapalooza. We get a topic and have an hour to write a piece about that topic. Sometimes I play...sometimes I don't. Today's topic is "Write about a time you lost your temper or somebody lost their temper at you". I'm all in on this one. Here go my chips being pushed into the middle of the table.
Actually I'm doing this because this experience taught me a lesson and I'm passing it on....no charge. You can use this skill in real life and even make money with it. Seriously!!!
It was about 25 years ago. I was working as a Customer Retention Supervisor for a wireless company in California. It was a nice title. I did supervise one person...ME!!
I took calls from customers who were looking to cancel their wireless service. My job was to try and stop them from doing that. Pretty simple job. Lots of good stories. Even talked to quite a few celebrities but I digress from the topic.
One day a customer called to cancel because he was unhappy with his bill. Usually that was a simple process. I could send him to the Billing Department and they would straighten it out. He'd even make a little money on the deal because they'd give out some credit on the next bill to make him happy. Not that day.
Something went wrong from the beginning. When I apologized...which I always did...and offered to send him to billing for help, he went nuts. I mean really nuts!
Have you ever talked to someone who was angry and as they keep talking they get angrier and so on? That was this gentleman. At first I tried to interject but he kept talking over me and was getting louder.
But here's what I figured out....
a. He wasn't mad at me, he was mad at the situation. A lot of customer service people take this personally. Don't! It really has nothing to do with you. b. I love it when people yell and swear at me. That means they are out of control and you're in charge of the conversation/situation. Take advantage of that. c. People can only yell for so long. After a while they'll get tired and wear themselves out. Shut up and let them do that. Los Angeles Dodger announcer Vin Scully has a technique where after he announces a big play, he walks away from the microphone and lets the picture tell the story. Be like Vin and shut up.
And that's what I did....
After about five minutes of screaming, he was worn down and stopped talking. I jumped in, showed some empathy for his situation and solved his problem.
Victory was mine!!
So how does this skill make you money? After this gig I worked in sales for many years. The best skill I brought to my job was the ability to listen. I always tried to gain rapport with a customer by letting him/her talk about themselves. Believe me, they liked to do that. Ask a question...shut up and listen...equals dollars in your pocket.
As for using the listening skill in your personal life....hmmmm....are any of you married?
Enough said! :-)
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