The May Month in Review
Another month has come and gone, with a lot more crazy news. Let's get started:
The House of Representatives passed the debt ceiling bill. Both Republicans and Democrats seem to be unhappy. That sounds like it’s a good thing for us citizens, but probably not.
Having babies is generally a good thing that we should celebrate. Robert De Niro recently fathered a new child and Al Pacino announced he’s right behind his friend with a newborn coming soon. Good for them, I guess. I'm sure they'll be ecstatic to be in their eighties and changing diapers. Their partners will be even more thrilled to be changing diapers for their child and the father.
In more sex news, Megan Trainor said she has to ice herself after having sex because her husband’s penis is so large. Hmm…she didn't know about this on date three?
Russia has put out an arrest warrant for Lindsey Graham because of his support for Ukraine. I guess that means he won't be going to Moscow for the 4th of July with his fellow Senate comrades.
Russia has also banned more than one hundred Americans from entering their country. Included are Barack Obama, Steven Colbert and Rachel Maddow. Damn, I was looking forward to watching a Maddow special from St. Petersburg.
Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville made plenty of his own news. First, when the Durham report was released, his response was that we should stop holding elections. He topped that when he was asked about White Nationalists: “I call them Trump supporters. I call them Americans.” Hey, Tom, you do realize if we stop holding elections now, Joe Biden will be President for the rest of his life? And when he dies Kamala follows for even longer! I’m sure that will sit well with those folks you call Trump supporters and Americans.
How about some basketball news?
The NBA had their draft lottery and the first pick was won by the San Antonio Spurs. ESPN sent their basketball reporter Brian Windhorst to France to conduct a one-minute interview with presumptive first-pick Victor Wembanyama. The main issue with this is the company is laying off thousands of employees to save multi-millions of dollars in salaries. Maybe it's just me, but this would leave an extremely bad taste in my mouth if I worked at the worldwide leader. Again, maybe it's just me.
In college hoops news, Northwestern star Boo Buie pulled out of the NBA draft to return to school for another season. It’s reported he’s getting a NIL deal worth a reported $2-300,000. Do you think that had anything to do with his decision? More power to him! Better the money goes in his pocket than the schools!
One more NIL basketball story, former Michigan star Hunter Dickenson has transferred to Kansas. One reason is he'll be making more money. He complained about what he was getting in Ann Arbor: “My total at Michigan was under six figures.” Compare this to Michigan football star Blake Corum who uses part of his NIL money to purchase Thanksgiving meals for those who are in need. How unappreciative, tone-deaf and privileged can one person be?!
Back to politics; Ron Desantis launched his presidential run with Elon Musk on Twitter. There were twenty-one minutes of glitches. How could anyone be surprised after seeing what happened to the last SpaceX launch? What a bad decision by Ronnie! And this guy thinks he should be President of the United States?
Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitts is in the news. He vetoed funding for the state’s PBS stations. The reason is Clifford the Big Red Dog has a lesbian friend. Who would have ever guessed that Cliff is woke?
We close the month with a few items from Texas:
The state’s Attorney General, Ken Paxton, a Republican, was impeached by the solidly Republican House of Representatives. Who knew the Donner party moved to Austin?
We had more mass shootings in Texas. Governor Greg Abbott had his usual response to this…it’s not guns, it's a mental health problem. Hey Greg, if you really believe that, quit making cutbacks to mental health programs. In fact, give them more money! Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Finally, Texas Poker legend Doyle Brunson died at age 89. One of his famous sayings was “We don't stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.” Great advice. Whatever you play, don't stop! RIP Texas Dolly.
That's more than enough for one month. June is Pride Month. I’m sure that’ll go smoothly and there won’t be any news. See you in about thirty days.