The over/under was five
Question: When does a precancerous mole turn cancerous? Answer: When it does!
I have a deal with my Dermatologist. I see her twice a year for a full-body checkup. I can also come in two more times, without judgment or guilt—and the girl knows how to give guilt— for any new skin thing that I have either found or imagined. Trust me—there’s plenty of imagining. It comes naturally after you’ve had Melanoma plus three other skin cancers that required Mohs surgeries.
Yesterday, it was time for one of the full-body looksees. Surprisingly, it was my first time talking with her since last November. I guess I’m either getting more calm about new body moles or I’m not doing a self-check enough. Maybe a little of both.
One thing that always happens during any of these visits is that she finds precancerous moles that need to be eliminated. The last time I was there, she found ten—T E N!! If you think that sounds like a lot, it is! It led to this conversation:
HM: Are you ready for those precancerous things? Dr: I’ve got the freeze ready to go. HM: Of course you do. I have the over/under set at five. Dr: I think you’re a little low. I’m betting seven. HM: Damn, do you get commission for each one you freeze? Dr: (laughing) No. Only for the skin care product, they’ll try to sell you when you check out.
As she’s checking my skin, she has this marker with her to circle the spots that need freezing. She’s counting with each of them:
“1…2…3….4…5..looks bad for you…6…SEVEN!! All done, I win!!”
Damn!! Who knew skin care was a competitive sport!
When we were done, she gave me a sample tube of cream. “Use this when it starts to flake—and don’t let them sell you anything at checkout. See you in November.”
Yeah, yeah, November. Only six months away. Unless I imagine anything.