There was so much strange news in January that I thought the review needed to be split into two halves. Shockingly, or actually not too shockingly I was right. There’s more nonsense in the last two weeks than in the first seventeen days. Let’s get to it:
Perennial candidate Willie Wilson is running for Mayor of Chicago again. He has a plan on how to fight crime. When police are actively chasing criminals, Willie says to “hunt them down like rabbits.” In a city where we always get the worst candidates and then elect the worst of the worst, Willie has never come close to getting elected. Maybe he should stick to giving out gas cards.
Our current Mayor, Lori Lightfoot is running for re-election. Lori says she supports almost everyone: “I stand by our police officers. I stand by our street outreach workers. And I stand by every other Chicagoan who is working night and day to keep our city safe.” And chances are you’ll be standing on inauguration day watching the new mayor being sworn in.
Let’s move on to national news and start with the Democrats:
Congressman Adam Schiff was officially ejected from the House Intelligence committee. No problem, because he tweeted he’ll still be around and fighting for us. Then he included a link just in case you wanted to make a donation to his fight. It’s always about the money, isn’t it? And, this was before he declared that he would run for the Senate.
I received a letter from Joe Biden by snail mail. I was actually excited to get this and read about his accomplishments over the last two years. Next, I reached into the envelope and found another piece of paper with another envelope. Joe was asking for donations with three suggested amounts plus a space to put in a higher amount if you chose to do so. At least the envelope was postage paid…believe me, I did check before throwing it in the recycle bin.
Let’s move on to the Republicans, and there’s plenty to peruse.
Former besties Lauren Boebert and Majorie Taylor Greene had an argument in a women’s bathroom. Apparently, Margie told her off for not supporting Kevin McCarthy’s bid to be House Speaker, after taking his money. Lauren responded with “Don’t be ugly”, and then sprinted out of the bathroom. We need a pay-per-view cage match at the next Wrestlemania. I’d buy that one. I would even spring for pizza and beer.
Rudy Giuliani has been active on Twitter. His bit has been “Where’s Hunter?” Dude, it’s obvious where he’s been. Hunter has been looking for an attorney that has an active license to practice. That’s why he hasn’t called you.
On her weekly Sunday Fox interview program, Maria Bartiromo asked Representative James Comer if the mishandling of classified documents by Joe Biden could be considered treason. She has even brought up the death penalty. Has she ever made these same accusations against Donald Trump? Of course not. Wasn't Maria at one time considered a serious business journalist? What happened to her? The answer is Fox and money happened.
On to the world of Donald Trump…again. Don won his golf club’s senior championship. The problem was he was out of town and didn’t play in the first round. That didn’t stop him from claiming victory. Hmmm…can you think of anything else that he still claims that he won that he actually didn’t? Hmmm…
The Donald is now out on the campaign trail in his supposed bid for the presidency. On Saturday, in New Hampshire, he proclaimed, “I’m more angry now and I’m more committed now than I ever was.” That’s okay, bud…we are, too!
Sometimes politics and entertainment are intertwined. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has banned Pink Floyd from the state. Banned them from what? They aren’t touring or making records currently. Are Roger Waters or David Gilmour allowed to vacation in Miami? I think the next Disneyworld, which is also on the outs with DeSantis, commercial should be playing “Wish You Were Here” as background music.
Finally, I saw a Facebook ad for the new movie “Eighty for Brady.” This is the film where four senior citizens, played by Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Sally Field and Rita Moreno try to get to Super Bowl 2017 to see their hero Tom Brady play. Under the ad was a comment section. More than half the comments were people saying they would never see a film that featured “Hanoi Jane.” Yes, Fonda did go to Hanoi in 1972 but the story that she accepted notes for POWs and turned them over to the North Vietnamese has been widely debunked. The POWs themselves have denied that this occurred. Plus, it’s been fifty years. Maybe it’s time to get past this?
However, if you really need a reason not to go see this film, here’s a real one: IT’S A HORRENDOUS MOVIE!! The premise is ridiculous. The writing is worse. I can’t believe four legendary actors couldn’t find something better to do with their time. I saw a preview on Saturday, and I can’t believe I couldn’t find something better to do with my time. You’ve been forewarned!
See! I told you there was more news in the second half of the month. February is next. The good news is it only has twenty-eight days! PHEW!
You’re one of the few writers who can help me laugh through the terrifying and sad state of the news. Thanks, I think 😃