This is what bothers me about Hillary Clinton's emails
Happy Labor Day weekend!
Good news about that. It means the presidential campaign is about to get started. WHAT?! I know...you're thinking what the Hell has been going on for the last year? Kids, what we've seen is basically the opening act at a Bruce Springsteen concert. It's all over and we still have three to four hours to go. Yep, the good stuff is just getting started.
Now on to the emails. Every day it's Hillary email this and Hillary email that. Emails about Benghazi, emails about the Clinton Foundation, emails about everything you can imagine. Are they important? I guess that depends on who you support. Democrats and Hillary supporters say there's nothing sinister about them and she's been cleared. Republicans and Donald supporters think she's a traitor and should be hanged or locked up. I'm pretty sure neither side is going to change their mind about this and won't change who they'll be voting for.
Honestly, I don't care about those emails. The ones that bother me are the emails Hillary is sending me!! Two, three, four emails a day. Every. Single. Day.
WOMAN, PLEASE!!!
And it's not just from Hills. I'm getting emails from what seems like the entire Democratic party. Barack, Michelle, Joe, Elizabeth, and Timmy Kaine.
DUDES!!! You've got my vote...leave me alone! Plus it's Illinois, it's a solid blue state, you really don't need me. But, I do live in Chicago. Maybe they think I can vote multiple times, who knows.
Here's what really gets me.....at the bottom of every email they're asking for money! Yep, they don't really give a shit about my vote or what I think, they just want my cash. Hey Hillary, honey, baby...last month you raised over $140 million. I should be sending you emails asking for money! But the one that really drives me cray cray is when they try to guilt you into making a donation by saying that might be the difference between winning the election and four years of Trump. The Democrats have become a Jewish mother.
Seriously, Hillary...if you can't defeat the most flawed candidate in the history of politics and then are going to blame it on me for not giving you three bucks, well fuck you and I'm packing up and moving to Mexico.
Now if you think I'm just pissed at Hillary about these emails, you're so wrong. Donald has been even worse. On Wednesday, he sent me six emails. SIX!! Here's what his daytimer looked like for that day. Get up, fly to Mexico, talk to the Mexican President about how he's going to pay for a wall, fly to Arizona, talk to the American peeps about how Mexico is going to pay for a wall, send Howie six emails about a wall. OY!!!
Hey Don...stop already!! Do you really think I'm ever going to vote for you? Really? I know I went to your rally in Chicago last spring but that was so I could write about you. You remember that rally, don't you? Yeah, the one where you decided to pussy out and not show up. Thanks for doing that. It made my piece even better! PUNK'd!
So Donnie, I'm not going to vote for you or send you any money but you did send me an email that left me more than a little intrigued.
Howard, Americans like YOU are the heart and soul of this movement -- I’m just the messenger. That’s why I am extending this exclusive opportunity to you today. I'd like to thank you for your support and take you to dinner. I'll fly you to our campaign stop, arrange for your transportation and dine with you that night.
Woooo Hooo!! How cool is this? I'm the heart and soul of a movement! Who knew? Can you picture that dinner? It's Donald, Scott Baio, Ted Nugent and Clint Eastwood. Look, there's that empty chair Eastwood has had next to him for the last four years. I could be in that chair!!
How lucky am I?!
Here's the piece from last March when Donald wussed out on his rally.
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