Urinary Tract Infections, Kidney Stones and Std's....OY
There are so many great things about Parkinson's Disease.
The obvious ones are the tremors and the balance problems. Spills and thrills. The other good ones are increased chances of getting Melanoma and Dementia.
But here's an underrated problem. We also get Urinary Tract Infections at a much higher rate. Kidney Stones, too. It's a lovely part of this lovely disease.
It leads to conversations like this.....
Howie: I'd like to make an appointment to see the Doctor. Receptionist: Okay. What's the problem? H: (whispering because there are ten people around) I think I have a Urinary Tract Infection. R: What? Oh okay...his next appointment is November 25. H: Sigh
The office has a new Nurse Practitioner and she has time to see me. I think it's her first day. Another sigh. Here's another uncomfortable chat...
NP: The symptoms for UTI's, STD's and Kidney Stones are kind of similar.
H: Ummmm....I think we can rule out STD's. I can't even get a date much less.... NP: Okay, Okay, Okay....Talk to your therapist about this.
So after a very personal exam, which I'm told doesn't count as having sex, she says it's a probable kidney stone. If it doesn't clear up and pass, see us next week.
Well that led to conversations about water and painkillers...and more water.
I really liked Parkinson's better when I was just spilling shit on my shirt and falling in grocery stores.
So it looks like I'm heading back to the doctor on Tuesday. She can take another look. I know...I know...it doesn't count as sex. Maybe in 2015.
In the meantime....if you have any extra Norco or Vicodin, leave a comment below. We'll talk.