Recently, I heard a story about two people I know who were having an affair. At first, it was shocking, but then the group started making jokes about it. I guess the jokes are a way of dealing with something that in reality isn’t funny.
As I was driving home, I started thinking about the situation. My conclusion was when did affairs and any kind of infidelity become something that we joke about? Did the jokes begin because people in public life are doing it?
Over the weekend, a story broke that Nikki Haley had two affairs. She denies it, but whether it’s true or not, it led to the following hashtags trending:
#NastyNikki #BackseatNikki
And, this wasn’t the only one:
Fani Willis is going down faster than she did on her married lover.
And then there’s the revelation about South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem having a very public affair with Corey Lewandowski. When she was mentioned as a possible vice-presidential contender, someone came up with:
Kristi will be on her knees spewing family values. Wake up and smell the Ho.
If you think I’m just picking on the women, I’m not. We’ve seen so many examples of this about Donald Trump, that it would take up too much space to print them all. The same with Bill Clinton.
When I was in college, there was a story about two of the school’s football coaches. One had an affair with the other’s wife. The line to describe it was:
“Barry put it in for Larry.”
It was almost always said with laughing involved. In reality, it was sophomoric, gross and disgusting. All these things are.
Look, I understand that this is coming off with more than a little judgemental tone. I’m not a prude—far from it. I realize there are plenty of reasons people have affairs. You never know about someone’s home situation that leads to this. At times, it’s just a matter of two people who are attracted to each other. I get it, I really do.
But, while we’re laughing there are consequences to this behavior. From the families that are destroyed to the trust that is broken between life partners, those are real-life things that may be unrepairable.
None of those things are funny. They're not fucking funny at all.
Not to be hedonistic, but we can ask the question another way: What's so great about fidelity?
I appreciate this piece- underlying these situations is so often dying, or death, of love, family, dreams. Serious things.