What's the most intense college football rivalry?
It’s another college football Saturday. In an hour, the Oklahoma Sooners will take on the Texas Longhorns. It’s one of the sport’s most heated rivalries, but is it the best and most intense?
Since I’m an OU alum and the game is being played today, let’s start with this one. Here are my feelings about Texas. If the final score today is 66-3 in the Sooners’ favor, while I’ll be happy with the win, I’ll be pissed off that we let them score three points.
The reason for the dislike of Texas is that they and their fans think they’re so much better than everyone else…and this isn’t only about football. They’ll be happy to tell you that their way of living is the only way to live. And yet they’re so soft that if you make a hands-down hand sign like the one in the photo, they’ll whine about how much their feeling are hurt.
I’m far from the only one that feels this way and trust me that there’s more than their share of dislike from the other side, too.
That said, it’s scary and hard to believe that there are two other rivalries that are more intense.
Next up in the number two spot comes Michigan vs Ohio State. Man do these two schools and their fan base hate each other…not dislike but real hatred.
They fight about everything from recruits leaving their home state to play for the team up north or down south to the ridiculous argument about which city is the best place to live (btw, for students it’s Ann Arbor, for adults it’s Columbus) to which of its head coaches is more of a legendary figure (btw, it’s Woody Hayes, who was also a bigger asshole than any Michigan coach, but it’s close).
The only thing that would make this rivalry better is if Michigan would win a few more games. Yeah, they won last year, but once a decade isn’t enough…and even Wolverine fans would admit that. And yet, even if they did, it wouldn’t be enough to get the top spot.
Nothing tops Alabama and Auburn. NOTHING!
Yeah, the series is one-sided. Alabama wins national championships more often than Auburn wins a game in the series. But, when the Tigers do win, it’s often in a spectacular fashion. You’re talking about two blocked punts returned for touchdowns in the final minutes or a stunning return of a missed field goal for a walk-off game-winning touchdown.
But nothing that has occurred on any football field tops this off-the-field incident:
In 2010. Auburn overcame a twenty-four-point deficit to beat Alabama 28-27. The result was too much for life-long Tide fan Harvey Updyke. His response was to drive to the Auburn campus and poison some historic eighty-year-old oak trees.
When asked about this, Updyke said he just didn’t like Auburn. “I wanted the Auburn people to hate me as much as I hate them. He was brazen enough to call into the Paul Finebaum radio program admitting his crime.
Harvey Updyke died in 2020. His son, Bear, said it was due to natural causes. Giving your son the nickname of the school’s most legendary coach plus poisoning your rival’s trees is some hardcore badass fandom shit! It’s impossible to top that.
Okay, kids, it’s time for some football…Red River Rivalry style. Go Sooners. Horns down, bitches. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.