Why is Elon Musk following me on Twitter?

Saturday morning I woke up and did what I do almost every morning—I grabbed my phone. I first checked my email—delete, delete, delete. Next came Facebook—no notifications, no birthdays. Then I noticed that there was a 1 on the icon of my Twitter app. Hmmm, how usual. I open it up to see I have a new follower. Again, how unusual. I wonder who it is? WHAT?!! It’s…

ELON MUSK!!!

Yeah, I know—I’m surprised, too. Actually, more like shocked. But, then I started thinking—WHY?!

I don’t do much on Twitter, and it’s even less since Elon bought the thing and turned it into a shitshow. Sometimes I may comment on a sports or music thread but that wouldn’t lead him to give me a follow. Then I realized I do one more thing—I post a link on Twitter to these columns. I guess I forgot about it because no one ever accesses them through there. Could it have been Elon saw a couple, liked what I was saying and followed me so he could see what was going to happen next?

My last two posts were about Elon’s real BFF Don and his obsession with Arnold Palmer’s dick, followed by Don’s lust with Hitler and Nazis. Maybe all his sucking up to Trump is bullshit and he really thinks like me/us? Naaa—couldn’t be, could it?

Then it came to me—I made some comments about that SpaceX launch where the rocket came back to Earth and landed at the spot where it took off from. I said it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen—multiple times. If you haven’t seen it, check this out:

See!! I told you it was cool!!

But now that I’m in tight with Elon, do you think I’m going to blow it when he reads about Arnie, Hitler, and this one? If not, wait until he sees what I have planned for the next few days!!

Oh well. It was probably only a one-off thing. Maybe if I buy a Tesla I can keep it going? Probably not. But, thanks, Elon. It was great while it lasted.